I went for a self-guided 3-day meditation retreat. With the goal of spending time by myself, reflecting and aligning my life for more presence. And I did that. I woke up at 4:30 and went to bed at 9pm, with ~10 hours of meditation in between. (here’s a short guide if you want to it yourself).
For one day. Turns out, meditation all by yourself is on hard mode. I had discounted the accountability from 50 others meditating at the same time. And so on the second day I had reoriented.
That first day, I had one thing echoing in my mind - “Why haven’t I shared more with the world?”. And when it’s clear what needs to be done, it’s better to act on it.
I changed my retreat. From one focused solely on meditation to a blend of fun projects to share, reading, and meditation (and a half-day of snowboarding). And I didn’t tell anyone. I quietly turned back on wi-fi on my laptop, kept do not disturb on, airplane mode on, and messaging apps closed.
Meditation has so much power for me because it gives me clarity and focus like nothing else, lowering anxiety and making the path clear. This trip I realized, it’s a hammer - and not everything in life has to be a nail. So now I’ll do more silent retreats, but interspersed with meditation and creation.
I’m blessed. I love my friends, my family, my life. I’m incredibly lucky and grateful. But there’s something incredibly relaxing about disconnecting, with no responsibility. It’s what’s so indulgent about solo travel. Every day is a blank canvas. And like any indulgence, it must come to an end.
Great things in life are accomplished when shared with others, intensely shared. And each day isn’t a dress rehearsal, it’s the main event.
I look forward to next year’s Thanksgiving, one in which I’ll travel with friends. And until then, a life filled with intensity, focus, and lower ego.